I usually love being a theatre techie, doing something important while staying out of the spot light. Something that has to be done and is as important as any actor in a show.
But then there are times like these where I hate my job, I hate that no one recognizes me, that I never get credit for working and slaving over a show and giving up my life for what I love. I give up things and opportunities I'd much rather hold onto to make a show better and work to do things I hate so a show can go up in time. And then, every once and a while something happens that makes me feel so useless that I wonder why I love it so much, is it just me desperately clinging to what I see as the only thing I know and am half way decent at?
I know I'll end up back in the theater soon enough, tomorrow actually. But for now I'm not giving anything up to the place that won't recognize I'm working my ass off despite all the fear and anxiety that's been suffocating me. On top of this Today Sucks and it seems I have lost my brain someplace...
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