This weekend has been a series of ups and downs. The ups being really up and the downs being really down... On another note I really feel like writing...

Why my job hates to love me

I usually love being a theatre techie, doing something important while staying out of the spot light.  Something that has to be done and is as important as any actor in a show.

But then there are times like these where I hate my job, I hate that no one recognizes me, that I never get credit for working and slaving over a show and giving up my life for what I love.   I give up things and opportunities I'd much rather hold onto to make a show better and work to do things I hate so a show can go up in time.  And then, every once and a while something happens that makes me feel so useless that I wonder why I love it so much, is it just me desperately clinging to what I see as the only thing I know and am half way decent at?

I know I'll end up back in the theater soon enough, tomorrow actually.  But for now I'm not giving anything up to the place that won't recognize I'm working my ass off despite all the fear and anxiety that's been suffocating me.  On top of this Today Sucks and it seems I have lost my brain someplace...

I told myself I wasn't going to do this.....

Ok, so it's valentines day, and given the title you can probably already guess what I'm going to complain about and that's making me feel even worse on top of the shit I already feel like.... I had better ideas for what to post next but I need to just spill my guts somewhere....

I do believe that Valentines day has been taken advantage of by large companies for a profit but it's harder to say that when you know that there are people who actually enjoy it and believe in the romance that seems to infect peoples hearts on this one particular day.   But what sucks is the people who don't have anyone else to celebrate the day with get to see the others who are happy, get to be the person that hears all the stories and gets told the secrets of gifts that are to be given.   Being the person people just talk to gets sad because you can't hate the people who are happy just because they want to share their feelings, but it's tiresome to go by year after year and be that person who just gets told the secrets without any to share yourself.

This is who I am, I've never been the important person who gets a gift on valentines day, never had someone special at all in all of my years.   And I have to say that this year is probably the worse right now, at least when I was home I got the pleasure of locking myself in my room alone and not feel too frustrated because the others happiness around me I knew wasn't going to last.   I also had family and at least one very close friend who would try and keep up the conversation with me in their equal loneliness.   Now, when I'm surrounded by people on this day I've never really felt more alone.  Everyone else either has a date for today (even though they can't spend time together because of schedules), or is staying together for the day in a group.   I'm trying to be part of that group but it's showing now more than ever that I'm new to the group, I have friends, but were not exactly close yet.  The other lonely people that I was going to hang out with today still ended up with cards and packs of chocolate by very close friends, my roommate who seemingly got the same things I did (nada) at least has family in the area that she's going to see tonight, and knowing that statement means I will truthfully be alone all night long.....

So, happy Valentines day to all of you.   And to the people who are just listeners again this year, your defiantly not alone.

The ups and downs of digital reading

For my birthday in 2010 I ended up with the original nook wi-fi and loved it, but since then I’ve heard lots of comments from people about my beloved e-reader.   Both negative and positive comments have lead me to want to express my feeling on the subject of digital readers in a way of comparing the old and the new.   And the best place to do so where I know I will have the attention of people without being interrupted and set off task (much)? The internet of course! And this seems most logical place to do so.

I probably am going to get way into the habit of doing this but I’m warning you now that these are my personal opinions and I don’t claim to be an expert on much of anything.   Also that I’m probably going to get off topic a bit and my reasons are just going to be written as they come to me, not with any sort of plan or organization.   So if I get an idea after I’ve started and moved on then I may go back and add or I may just jump back to the topic from where ever I was at.

Starting off I already said I had the original nook wi-fi, not the 3g or more advanced versions that are out now.   I got it before any of the tables were out and I loved it for the year I had it. Later I’ll tell you about why I chose the nook over other brands and why I now have the nook simple touch instead of the wifi, because I want a general overview instead of being really specific first.

One of the main reasons I love my nook so much is the amount of space it gives me, or saves me. I'm going to be a dork and post some pictures to show you just what I mean.

It's really nice to be able to hold over a hundred books in one place.   It makes travel and transport really easy, especially when I went off to college I left a lot of books behind and saved a lot of room by just buying them for my nook.  And there's always the possibility to add more space with a micro-SD card that many e-readers have the option to add on.  I chose the novel Jane Eyre for this picture because it's a lovely book, though very big in size.   Trying to carry this around for classes wasn't a breeze, but the Nook was.

The books are cheep, about the price of a paperback copy, minus the price in shipping or gas.  Many popular novels are just $9.99 or less.   Besides this there are many, many free books for downloading on every downlead sight and there's many new authors that you can explore for free or for just $.99.   Finding something to read is never a problem.

Borrowing is a breeze!   With the Nook there the ability for Nook lending, where you can let others borrow your book by sending it to them for a period of time.   The book disappears from your shelf for a while and automatically returns after the lending period is over or they send it back.   Because I'm a book lover I've found many websites where I can talk to people who have books that can be lent and where I can lend books out, some great groups exist on Goodreads!   Another way to borrow books is from your local library if they have a digital branch.   I know mine does and I can go and download books for a period of time.  There's no worry about keeping them too long because like the lending the books just return themselves after the time is up on them.

The biggest thing I hear about the Nook, and all e-readers in general is that people don't want to transition from the traditional book for various reasons.   Including reading from computers hurt their eyes, the feel of a book, the smell of a book and some others that just seemed really odd.   And while these are valid thoughts, they shouldn't stop someone from trying an e-reader.  Most good e-readers have screens that are very similar to the pages of a book.   I know if I read from a computer screen my eyes start to hurt and I instinctively try to look at other things in the room, but I don't have that problem with my e-reader.  My eyes don't get tired while I'm reading.   The feel, look, and smell of a physical book isn't that much of a problem, because while I like physical books, holding my nook is usually more comfortable than trying to hold open one page in a book without breaking the binding or trying to keep a heavy hardcover from falling on my head when I'm reading and laying down.

And while buying an r-eared is sort of a permanent commitment, nothing is stopping you from picking up your old paperback favorite once and a while.   There's nothing that says you can't stop at the library when you can't find a book you want.

Now I did say that I would go over my switch and for that, here is probably just going to be more specifically about the nook.

There were a few different reasons that I choose the nook over any other e-reader.   Most simply is that most of the other e-readers at the time didn't have as many features that I wanted like highlighting, notes, and bookmarking.  It really came down to the Kindle or the Nook and there were a few things I liked more from the Nook than the Kindle.   The Nook was easier to get hold of first off and because it allows epub I was able to get books from Borders and transfer them to my Nook, which you can’t do for the Kindle.   With those two sights easily available, and the fact that all of my family gives/gave me gift cards to those two stores Nook seemed like the best bet.

And I loved my nook and I love my current Nook

I only had one problem with my original Nook and that was what caused me to have to trade it in.   After about a year of owning it a few black lines started to appear on the screen that kept getting worse.   I hadn’t done anything that would have caused damage like drop it or step on it so the appearance of the lines is a mystery that I know others have gone though as well after searching online.  Barnes & Noble, thankfully, was having a trade in special at the time so I was able to trade in my defective Nook and get a fifty dollar gift card when I bought my simple touch.  

There were a few things that I preferred in my first nook more than my new one but at the same time there are things I like about the simple touch better.   My original Nook had the ability to play music that was saved on it and play a few simple games, this isn’t available on the simple touch and it’s something that I miss.   The organization of the simple touch is a little better and it will put all of your books and documents in the same place instead of separating them, which I prefer especially for shelves.
Speaking of shelves the thing that really bugged me about switching over from one nook to another was that none of my shelves would transfer over so I had to go back and reorganize the books into shelves again.

So, generally I love my nook and the ability to read so much more with it especially now that I’ve learned a few tricks to go with it.  Every once and a while I will go and grab a book from the library but the Nook has pretty much replaced my need to do so.

Have any questions? ask away and I'll try by best to answer. 

No, I don't make sense. Never have, never will. And to tell you the truth, I kind of don't want to.

Carnal Innocence by Nora Roberts 4.5/5*

Review: Carnal Innocence by Nora Roberts 4.5/5*

What: Carnal Innocence
Who: Nora Roberts
Stars: 4.5/5*
More info:  goodreads.com
Buy it:  Barnes and noble, amazon

Blurb: Nora Roberts, bestselling author of The Reef and Genuine Lies, mixes scorching passion with icy suspense in her classic novel of murder and infatuation in a southern town now available in hardcover for the first time.

In the small town of Innocence, Mississippi, days are long, nights are fragrant, and secrets are hard to keep. But when a brutal killer starts claiming the lives of the town's most attractive women, lifelong neighbors are forced to wonder if the culprit is a stranger lurking in the bayou...or someone right next door.

World-famous concert violinist Caroline Waverly knows nothing of the murders when she arrives in Innocence. Burned out from a childhood lost to endless rehearsals and an all-too-public breakup with the conductor who was her lover, Caroline is looking for a little peace and some time to think. She hopes that a stay at her late grandmother's house the one with a covered porch just made for soft summer nights will provide the tranquility she needs. But Innocence has something else to offer Caroline: a man named Tucker Longstreet.

Blessed with the Longstreet good looks, lazy charm, and family fortune, Tucker is a tall, cool drink of water and he knows it. He likes to keep his romances short and shallow. But one look at Caroline, and Tucker realizes that she is unlike any other woman he's met. Tightly coiled and coolly reserved, Caroline is determined to fight him off. She might be able to do a better job if she hadn't felt an unexpected thrill at his ardent advances...and if she hadn't been so scared after finding a third murder victim in the murky waters behind her home.

For Caroline Waverly, a beautiful summer interlude could turn into much more or could stir a killer's crazed dreams. Because there's just one small problem with her new romance: Tucker is the leading suspect in the killings

The Why: Awhile ago I was flipping though channels on TV trying to find something to watch and I happened across a series on Nora Roberts movies on Lifetime that were just starting.  Seeing as there was nothing better to watch I started on the series that would introduce me to author that I believe will stick with me for a while.  After watching the first movie, Carolina Moon, I was interested to see the new movie that was being advertised in the commercials.  After returning home from work I sat down and watched Carnal Innocence.  I knew as I was watching it that I would end up wanting to read the books, and I was a little worried that I was watching the movie first and that usually throws me off…

My Thoughts: Again I’m going to give a disclaimer because the book wasn’t the last I read and isn’t completely fresh in my mind at the moment.   What I’m writing now is from memory so it may be missing a point that could have been addressed.  The way I see it now: the fact that these positive points stuck in my mind till now mean that it was a memorable book.

Perhaps one of the reasons I liked this book so much was the ease of reading it allowed me to fall into.   Trying to go though my long-winded textbooks has left me with a level of scatterbrained I’ve never reached before, so being able to read something simple to follow is a nice was to relax.   I keep wanting to describe the book in a category of mindless for the simple fact that reading doesn’t take much out of you, you’re not trying to constantly find foils, foreshadowing, symbols, and other literary devices as you might in other books.  Perhaps you might say that this says something about me that I’m rating mindless books pretty high in my list, but that’s not really the case.    It may be mindless but it’s still well written and very much a complete book

Roberts writing in Carnal Innocence is sweet to follow and draws me in like many books fail to do.  The descriptions of everything are so complete that I can easily feel as if I’m standing next to a character and looking at the same thing they are, in the swamp fishing or out taking a walk in the oppressive heat of the summer day.  The descriptions of characters, which I often find incomplete for a reason I can’t pin down, are full and allow for characterization in my mind that is as complete as a photograph.

The characters themselves seem whole; they have solid emotions and driving factors that lead them into understandable situations.  Unlike other romance novels I love the main character Caroline because, as you learn her history, you learn she’s finally standing up for herself.   Many leading women in romance novels are plain wimpy and rely too heavily on the men chasing them.  Caroline actually stands her ground, which is part of why I like her.

All of the events that happen are interconnected, so everything fits and going over the events after the fact they seem to fit even better.  From finding the first body to finding out whom the killer is there are many little details that make the story even better and fit together perfectly, better than puzzle pieces that might usually describe a murder mystery in a story.

The one thing that I found distracting from the story was the relations of many of the characters. While I can understand that the family relations are important and show how close the characters all are, I felt like I needed a family tree to keep track of all of the characters and keep them straight.   The sheer number of characters doesn’t help either, there were just so many of them that were related to one character or another in some different way that I kept pausing while reading to try and figure some of the characters out.

I have a thing against rating whole numbers that I just noticed….
Samantha
*Hugs*

Just remember that it's the small things that matter the most. For they may seem insignificant to you, but they mean the world to those who feel like they don't belong

Getting on Track

Being really busy lately means pretty much forgetting about everything that wasn't directly related to school work, including books I wanted to read, art I wanted to do, and many things related to the web.   But since I've managed to get in somewhat of a rhythm lately (and finished almost all of my work for the next few days) I decided it was time to try and revisit  this place that I had such wonderful intentions for, mainly this place.


Since I've had a little more time I've been trying to get into everything again and the first thing I leapt back into was my netflix account, mainly for the purpose canceling it.   Now I have my reasons including the fact that I don't watch enough things on it to keep paying for it, but mainly because I had finally talked my mother into getting one to go along with the new blue-ray player they bought for the household.   I was smart about this though, I waited out my month so I wouldn't waste the one I had paid for and watched more movies to last out the month.

So the time had finally come to add the family account instead of the old one....... Now I see a problem that really should be addressed soon, and from what I'm reading it should be happening sometime.

My problem is this: there are four members in my immediate family who are going to be using the same netflix account and we each have our own preferences that aren't going to mix well together.   My mother, who's the account holder, likes suspense and fairy-tales.  My unemployed father likes to watch cooking and hunting while he's fixing something that isn't broken.   Younger brother likes to watch stupid shows that he's not supposed to and comedy.  While I enjoy horror, Disney, and big gay musicals (anyone who gets this references deserves a cookie).   See my point?   My mom already said she doesn't want a bunch of horror and bloody movies showing up every time she wants to look for something to watch, and I know her well enough to know she doesn't want to know about my love of gay love.

To try and find a way to solve all of the questions in my head that were wondering how I can fix this problem I did what many people do, I googled it.... To my surprise I thought I found something that would work.... but of course my dreams were crushed when I realized, of course, that the family sharing that used to exist was canceled and it seemed that I would be doomed to look for some movies online and not the convenient netflix...  But further on down the page I found a more recent article that stated that netflix was planning on creating a way to make different profiles for members of a family sharing the same netflix account.   My hopes are brought back!!

I'm hoping that this will be brought about soon, and have enough common sence to them that they are easy to use and will stay permanently as a tool for netflix users to make their viewing better.   Hopefully making separate queues won't be all for this upgrade.


Hoping this get better soon,
Samantha
*Hugs*