Ok, so I know no one actually follows this but I felt it was about time for me to say that I haven’t completely forgotten about this wonderful place I started. And since no one is following or looking at it, and as such no one I know, I feel it is a safe place for me to ramble for a moment about… well, life in general because I need somewhere to do this now because I feel so overwhelmed in emotions at the moment that are going to spew forth if I don’t put theme somewhere or tell someone. And since I’m such a lonely person who doesn’t have actual people I feel I can share ALL of this with, typing all of this out will have to do.
But the topic of all of this was to get off my chest how happy last night made me, which was amazing to me because for a while I felt like I’ve been stuck in a rut that’s been quickly growing and filling with water that’s threatening to drown me. Last night started out nothing like how it had ended; in fact it started out like it was going to be one of the more stressful days I’ve had. You see, I recently packed up and left for school and for a while it was really intimidating. I’m generally just shy and quiet, but I didn’t want to be that girl that never talks. So I’ve been trying really hard to talk and get to know people, and I think I’m doing ok, better than I would have ever imagined, but still not great. This causes stress for me for reasons I can’t even begin to put into words right now. Besides this, one of my advisors keeps telling everyone to jump into as much as they can and immerse ourselves into everything to get used to school and the theatre program (did I not mention I’m going to school for Theatre and Speech Communication with an emphasis in Tech and Design? Oops). Because of this I’m taking a Sophomore/junior Tech class as a freshman and it’s freaking me out because I keep working that I missed something really important in the class that I skipped for this tech class. And beyond that there are only a million other things I’m stressing about…
But back to my point, my school is doing a production of As you like it, the Shakespeare play. This is my first time working a tech position for this theatre and it was a last minute job for me because someone else couldn’t do it. Now, I can usually understand Shakespeare pretty well when I’m reading it at my own pace but when working for a show I have trouble because I can’t just sit back and immerse myself in what’s being said because I have my own responsibilities during the show that divert my attention. This plays into the cause of much of my stress on opening night because the Assistant Stage Manager is supposed to be helping me and giving me que’s but she has no idea what she’s doing. This hasn’t been a problem any of the other nights because she’s kept her script book on top of the board so I can follow along without problem and know when I have to do my job and not be dependent on her. But yesterday, during opening night, she decided to hide the book from me and got mad when I was asking her where we were. If it wasn’t a Shakespeare play I wouldn’t have needed to keep checking, but I needed the constant update the book gave me because I’m a little OCD about my que’s and work. This was pissing me off because she didn’t get the point of warnings and stand-bys, giving them all during the end monologues one right after the other before a song had to be played. When I tried putting her book out after she put it away, she then proceeded to lay down on it. Again, I’m not that good with Shakespeare, even though I’ve seen the show quite a few times, and all of my notes are written based on page numbers…….. The biggest problem I have with her acting like this is that the director and Tech director are looking at different people for the different things going on, especially for any problems. The director looks at the girl ‘working’ with me when something goes wrong, she was actually a bit surprised when I went to go ask her something about the sound I was running instead of the girl, but the director seemed happy that I had. The Technical director/ theatre program chair is pretty much looking at me if anything goes wrong, he will take into account the other girl, but it’s mainly me and I don’t want to disappoint him.
So, My stress and anger was justified.
But now to my point, and the happy stuff!! The show went well, despite the problems in my above rant. My best friend came to see it with my mother. That was really nice because I won’t see my mom for a few more weeks, and I haven’t seen my friend in too long and won’t see her for a while either. But the comments she made about the show partially made my day. During the intermission she came to say hi before the bitchy girl kicked her out. Her statement was “I have no idea what’s going on. Who’s the guy who took off his shirt? Is he gay?” Later she asked if his abs were made with makeup (They weren’t, he’s just kinda hot…), if the shortest girl in our department was really as short as she looked (she was), and if the biggest guy in our department had a pillow shoved in his costume (he didn’t). They left for their horribly long drive back and I was sad, but it wasn’t so bad because the best is yet to come!
And off to Applebee’s we went! It was a little bit of a wait because there were so many of us. I was commended for going because I was one of only three ‘freshies’ that went. I sat with wonderful people, the best being that I got to sit next to one of the guys I’ve had a bit of a crush on these past weeks since I saw him acting on stage. I never really thought he knew who I was, which he didn’t, but he was really nice and I talked to him a bit. Though I do wish I had a bit more, stupid anxiety. Another person I sat with always makes me happy to talk to them because their super nice and always include me, especially when I feel like I’m not being included. It’s a really nice feeling, he was actually one of the only people who knew my name when I started going here, despite the fact I’d only met him once. He was loving the 80’s music playing and singing along to almost every song. We told him he would belong to the 80’s, at the least an 80’s movie. There were some other people at the table as well who I really enjoyed sitting with. The technical director was there and I realized that I don’t need to be as..... intimidated… by him as I was, though that may not be the right word. I realized though that I was apparently doing better than I thought I was at keeping my head above water.
It was like the teacher I’m working with in the elementary school for a class project said, the fact that I’m there and working hard is enough and will stick more than just being there. That I’m in the advanced class and willing to work at a moment’s notice has been enough and I just need to keep remembering that.
It was really funny though, because I realized that theatre students are all really dorky and know certain speeches really well. Because the guy I have a bit of a crush on picked up a sparkly Halloween skull and after looking at it started reciting the ‘to be or not to be’ monologue. Most of us were laughing and saying parts of it with him. He ended up covered in silver glitter before he put the skull back.
So, all in all, a good night that’s left me really blessed out and happier than I’ve been in a while. (:
No comments:
Post a Comment